Author: Joan Sotkin

Prosperity, like everything else in your life, is an extension of your thoughts, beliefs and emotions. If you aren't experiencing prosperity, then something has to change. It's the old story: If you keep on doing what your doing, you're going to keep on getting what you're getting.

First, let's define the goal. Most people who don't feel prosperous think that making a lot of money is the key to prosperity. It isn't. Defining real prosperity always involves feelings. For example: If you are prosperous, you will feel comfortable, healthy, satisfied and have a zest for life. Lots of people make a lot of money but don't feel prosperous.

So, in seeking prosperity, your goal might be living a life that is comfortable and filled with joy and satisfaction. The question is, how much income do you need to allow that to happen?

The answer: income is not the defining factor. What you think about during the day and how connected, loved and appreciated you feel are what really affect your level of prosperity. When you feel loved, appreciated, acknowledged and accepted and when you stop longing for more and begin to see the beauty in life, you will have whatever you need to create a comfortable life.

Scarcity, or not having enough, is a feeling and a habit, both of which can change. Today, I'm going to discuss how you can begin to change the scarcity habit.

First let's look at what goes on inside your head during the day. Do you perceive your life as empty? Do you think of yourself as not good enough? Are you often disappointed by events in your life or how people treat you?

As long as you see less rather than more, that's what you are going to have. It's up to you to start seeing your life from a different point of view and to start seeing your strengths, not your weaknesses.

There is a saying, "A man who has no shoes, is glad he has his feet." The other night, there was a heart-wrenching story on ABC News about the starving people in Sudan. They awake each day with hunger and weakness, unable to function and, certainly, unable to enjoy life. If you are reading this newsletter, then you have a computer, more likely than not, you have plenty to eat, a roof over your head and all of your basic needs are met. You not only have your feet, you have shoes too.

But do you feel that, or do you just notice what you don't have? Are you constantly filled with feelings of longing for what you want to accomplish either materially or on a personal level? If that is what you feel, then it's time to change your point of view.

Corny as it may seem, gratitude and acceptance are the first steps towards understanding prosperity. What is it you have? What traits or qualities that you express can be defined as assets? Everyone has assets and liabilities. You can turn your liabilities into assets -- and be happy with what you have.

To me, Stephen Hawking, the brilliant physicist, is one of the most inspiring people on the planet. Totally crippled by Lou Gehrig's disease, he is unable to talk, move, or in any way care for himself. Yet he writes brilliant books, continues to contribute to science, and inspires everyone around him with his positive attitude.

Develop the gratitude habit. At the end of the day, make a gratitude list -- even if it is just in your head. Take an inventory of what you have and what good has transpired -- no matter how trivial it may seem. When "but" thoughts such as "But, I didn't do such and such" or "But I didn't get this and that" enter your head, push them aside and continue to see the good in your life. No matter how trivial your accomplishments, acknowledge them -- without any "buts."

If you feel alone and isolated, make an effort to connect with other people. I know that a lot of you who are reading this are in business for yourself. The worst part about that is the yourself part. Find ways of networking with other business people -- they need you as much as you need them.

Changing not-enough or alone habits isn't any easier than changing other habits. You are going to want to keep on doing and thinking what you've been doing and thinking all along. You know what that's going to get you. In order to change a habit, you have to constantly work against your inclination to stay where you are. It's your choice.

Now let's look at your relationship to things. Do you set up road blocks to satisfaction? As soon as you get something, do you start thinking of the next thing you want?

Look around you. What things do you have that you like? Appreciate them. Spend time each day enjoying what you have that you like. If you have things that you don't like, what can you do to trade them for something else. I didn't say buy, I said trade. If you don't have extra money yet, find creative ways of getting what you want.

Or, how about learning not to want so much. The paradox is that when you are satisfied with what you have, more will come.

When I was first starting to pull myself out of financial illness, I used to treat myself to a shopping spree at a store called Pic & Save, a liquidation chain. I'd set a limit of $20, which was enough to buy new items for my home and other goodies. I didn't have to go to a fine department store. The idea was to get things that would make my life easier and more comfortable -- and I could do that at Pic & Save.

I also would treat myself to surplus. If lipsticks were on sale, I'd buy two. Wow! More than enough.This worked with toothbrushes and other personal items too.

If you have money, but are in the habit of not allowing yourself to buy quality merchandise, try it. A friend of mine recently was preparing for her daughter's wedding. Although she could afford it, she had a hard time feeling that she was entitled to spend $300 for an outfit for herself. Her daughter convinced her to do it -- and she worked at learning to enjoy having something really nice.

Do you know how to behave like a wealthy person? Go into a fancy store and act as if you can buy anything there. Try on an expensive jacket or pair of shoes. Are you intimidated by richness -- or are you comfortable with it? If you aren't comfortable, practice.

This month, concentrate of recognizing your thoughts and habits that express scarcity. Think about what you can do to change those thoughts and habits. Then take small steps to change -- but do something each day to develop new habits.

For information about setting realistic goals and creating the mindset necessary for prosperity, read Build Your Money Muscles.