It's the same with money. Love it, nurture it, give it your full attention and it will grow. Fear it, neglect it, mistreat it and it's bound to go somewhere else.

How well do you take care of your money? Do you pay enough attention so that you know how much you need, have and can afford to spend. Is record keeping part of your weekly routine? Do you share part of what you have with others who have less?

What do you feel about your money? Are you grateful for what you have or do you resent what you don't have? Are you comfortable with your money or do you get rid of it as fast as you can? Does thinking about money make you nervous and stressed out.

If you aren't comfortable and satisfied with your money, perhaps it's time for a tune-up.

If you've been reading this newsletter for any length of time, then you know that I firmly believe that we use our money to express our emotions. If you never feel that there is enough, there is something inside of you that feels less than. More often than not, people who feel alienated, alone and abandoned have money problems -- no matter how much money they have. Addressing these emotions will affect your money flow.

But while you are going through the emotional growth process, you can take specific actions that will change your relationship with money -- and, in the process, your relationship with yourself. By nourishing your money, you will be giving yourself the kind of care you really need.

I'm going to make two kind of suggestions -- one for adjusting your inner relationship with money, the other for changing your relationship on a very practical level.

1. Pay attention.
Money is a powerful energy force. In order to control it and make it grow, you have to keep track of it. If you keep good financial records and keep them up to date, then go to the next suggestion. If you don't, then here's what I suggest:

If you are having money problems, then you probably don't want to look at your numbers. Trust me, you need to. If you're money is totally out of control, get a small spiral notepad and keep it with you at all times. Write down everything you spend and earn. Everything. If you write checks, make sure you record every one of them. Use duplicate checks if you often forget to record a check.

Since all of you have computers, if you aren't using a program like Quicken to record your money, seriously consider doing so. The only way to get control of your money is to write it down. Financial programs allow you to easily reconcile your checking account and, most important, to analyze our money flow.

Paying close attention to your money is especially important if you have a business. I'm amazed at how many people who are self-employed don't like to take care of their money. Fatal mistake. You must know exactly where you stand in order to make rational financial decisions.

Make a commitment to write down your money for six weeks. I suggest that if you don't use your computer that you get a four to six column ledger in which you record what you spend each week in various categories such as food, rent, utilities, insurance, medical, entertainment, etc. If you are using a program like Quicken, then this will be done for you when you record your checks. (You can also record the cash you spend.)

At the end of six weeks, add up the money and see where you have spent it and how you have earned it. You will probably notice that by the end of six weeks, you are spending less on frivolous things. The act of paying attention to your money, by itself, creates change.

2. Watch your reaction to adding up your numbers.
Many people quake at the thought of facing the truth of their money. They will do anything not to do this.

That's because people often use the critical parent in their head to pick on themselves. Whatever you are doing with your money now is fine. It's not good or bad, it's just what you are doing. It may not be smart, but that doesn't make you bad. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

If shame comes into the picture, then you are using money to express old feelings. Your shame goes much deeper than your money. You are the grown-up now and you can do anything you want. You just have to deal with the consequences of your actions. You also have the option of changing your behavior.

3. Make small changes in the way you deal with money.
If what you are doing isn't working, then you have to do something else. But making sudden drastic changes is rarely effective. Once you commit to make changes, do it gradually.

Writing your money down might be a major change for you. If you have trouble with it, be patient with yourself. Don't expect to do it perfectly right away. If you do, great. There are no mistakes or wrong behavior here. No judgement. Only love and caring. Can you give yourself that?

Start a saving habit -- no matter how much in debt you may be or how little money you may have. It may only be a nickel a week. The amount doesn't matter. The act of putting it aside is what counts. Take a small box, envelope or any kind of container and make it your bank. On a regular basis, put something in there.

4. Give some money away.
Here again, the amount doesn't matter. It's the action that counts. Act as if you have more than enough -- and certainly enough to share with someone who has less or an organization that helps people.

5. Become aware of your money feelings
Even if you have started doing this, you can take it to another level. There are a number of articles on Prosperity Place and in past issues of this newsletter that deal with money feelings. Use these to stimulate the process.

In my book Prosperity Is an Inside Job, there is a list of 125 feelings that is designed to help people recognize what they are acting out through their money. When I work with people, the most common feelings that people express include alone, abandoned, abused, ashamed, hurt, ignored, manipulated and less-than.

6. Make a commitment and take action
Thinking about changing your money won't do anything. You have to make a definite commitment to change your money behavior and feelings and then do something on a daily basis. If your money habits aren't serving you, then only you can change them.

I've often heard it said that it takes 21 days to change a habit. I think it takes a lot longer than that to change a lifetime of destructive money habits. but nothing will change unless you start to change -- and do it on a regular basis.

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