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How
often do you think about money? Most people think – or obsess – about
money fairly often. Even people who have what would seem to be a lot of
money think or worry about money many times a day. It seems strange
that we spend so much of our time thinking about something that by
itself has no value at all. Money's value lies in the importance that
we give it.
Over
the years, as I have been transforming my financial situation, I have
had to look at why some people are comfortable with their money and
others aren't. My conclusion is that like anything else in our lives, our
financial situation is a reflection of our thoughts, beliefs and
emotions (TBEs).
Money is an energy of exchange. It is energy that passes
between two people. When people exchange money for goods or services,
they are having a business or financial relationship. Therefore, money
is a symbol of relationships, and the way you deal with money is the
same as the way you deal with your relationships.
Let me rephrase that: Money is energy passing between two
people, and how you deal with money is how you deal with your
relationships – with yourself and with others.
Just as you have feelings about people relationships, you have
money feelings, and they are usually similar to your other relationship
feelings. As a matter of fact, your financial situation is a means for
you to express deep feelings. Once you understand which feelings you
are expressing through your money, you can work to express those
feelings in a healthier manner and change your financial situation.
Think
about it –- isn't financial security a feeling? Some people feel
financially secure with very little available cash. Others think they
need more even when they have millions in the bank. Financial security
has nothing to do with how much you have. It is about how you feel.
Your relationship with money can tell you a lot about yourself. For
example:
Your relationship with money can tell you
a lot about yourself. For example:
If you think other people are going to
cheat you financially, you're afraid of being abused or manipulated.
If you're stingy, you're afraid of
love/intimacy.
If you are worried about running out of
money, you're afraid of being left alone or of abandoning ourself.
If you never have enough money, it's
because you believe you're not enough.
If you often say, "I'm broke," you feel
broken or wounded inside.
If you are never able to buy things you
want, you feel deprived, usually of love.
If your money is out of control, so are
your feelings.
If you need to be rescued financially, you
may be feeling needy. alone and unloved
If you often borrow money, you think you
deserve more than you receive (emotionally).
If, when you look at your bank balance you
feel ashamed, you're ashamed of yourself.
When you go to buy something and you get a
gripping feeling around your heart, you're feeling like a bad girl or
boy.
If money slips through your fingers and
you never keep enough for yourself, you don't think you deserve
prosperity.
Getting in touch with your money feelings is important if you
want to feel prosperous and financially secure. Use the following
techniques to tune into what you are expressing through your money:
1. When you start worrying about money,
rephrase the problem in terms of relationships. For
example, if you are saying, "I have no money and I'm not generating any
clients," you are probably feeling alone and invalidated. You may be
expressing the thought "Nobody loves me." Or, you may feel disconnected
from your Self, which leads to feelings of aloneness.
2. When you are paying bills or buying something, notice what
you are feeling. Are you feeling fear? What are you really afraid of?
Here again, don't use the word money in your answer. Try to see what is
going on in terms of relationships. If you are afraid of running out of
money, it means you are afraid of being alone; you can't run out of
money, you can only run out of people because money is always attached
to people!
3. Once you identify the feelings associated with your money,
think back to the earliest time that you can remember when you felt the
same feelings. Express the feelings to whomever was involved in your
life story at the time by writing a letter that you don't actually
send, sharing the feelings with someone else, or with whatever
emotional clearing technique works for you.
The idea is to express, as deeply as possible, the feelings
you are acting out through your money. If you are afraid to do it
alone, share the feelings with someone who can listen to your pain
without getting involved. Expressing the feelings will help you change
your financial expression.
The book Build Your Money Muscles has
detailed instructions for recognizing and releasing uncomfortable money
feelings.
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